Russian tech company claims it can kill Starlink
Published in News
Wednesday, 21 December 2022 11:44

Russian tech company claims it can kill Starlink


Quicker than waiting for Musk to do it 

A Russian arms manufacturer claims it can help the country's military detect and bombard Starlink satellite dishes, which have been crucial to the defense effort in Ukraine.

Russian plans to build their own chips stalled
Published in News
Tuesday, 20 December 2022 12:20

Russian plans to build their own chips stalled


We can design them but no one will make them for us

Tsar Putin’s plan to churn out computer chips so that Russia can stick two fingers up at leading Western CPU makers such as AMD and Intel have stalled completely because he can’t find anyone to build the chips.

Chinese Longsoon chips not going to Russia
Published in PC Hardware
Wednesday, 14 December 2022 11:34

Chinese Longsoon chips not going to Russia


China needs them all itself

The Chinese government has banned exports of Loongson CPUs based on the LoongArch microarchitecture to Russia ironically for the same reasons that the US is not giving it access to its chips.

China flogging dodgy chips to Russia
Published in News
Wednesday, 19 October 2022 12:09

China flogging dodgy chips to Russia


Failure rates up 1,900 per cent

The failure rate of semiconductors shipped from China to Russia has increased by 1,900 percent in recent months, according to Russian national business daily Kommersant.

Ukraine sounds like it is winning the cyber war
Published in News


Although, we would expect it to sound like that

Derzhspetszviazok head Yurii Shchyhol who is in charge of fighting the Russians in cyberspace appears confident he is winning the world’s first full-fledged cyberwar.

Putin might have saved the world from black hole
Published in News


Or he might have just frozen scientific development for a while

Tsar Putin's plan to restore the Russian Empire by switching off Europe's energy supply might have prevented the world from being sucked into a black hole. 

Russian military touting Chinese bots
Published in News
Wednesday, 17 August 2022 11:22

Russian military touting Chinese bots

Pretending to have invented them

The Russian military, desperate for good news to put on state media, has been dressing up Chinese robots and claiming to have invented them.

Putin tried to steal Apple users' data
Published in News
Friday, 29 July 2022 11:11

Putin tried to steal Apple users' data


All your Coldplay collections are belong to glorious Russian republic

The Tame Apple Press is furious after Russia’s biggest internet services provider appears to have conducted a special operation to re-routed traffic made by Apple users through its own servers.

Russian robot breaks kid's fingers
Published in News
Monday, 25 July 2022 11:02

Russian robot breaks kid's fingers


Russian TV and officials blame the kid 

A chess-playing robot broke a child's finger during a tournament in Russia last week and the media and authorities were rather too quick to blame the child.

Russia wants to build its own game engine
Published in Gaming


And Ukraine is going to pay for it 

Tsar Putin's  Russia is looking into making its own game engine because support from companies has been pulled followed the invasion of Ukraine.