Apple warned its AI will fail
Wedbush analyst says Apple Intelligence is all gloss, no guts
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has been warned that its Apple Intelligence is doomed and not close to matching what its rivals are doing.
Apple defends its headless chicken AI strategy
Job’s Mob reckons building Siri properly takes decades
After months of mocking silence about Siri’s “smarts” Apple executives have surfaced to defend their wobbly AI rollout and somehow made it sound like all part of the plan.
Panicking over AI failures, Apple declares it impossible
If we can't get it to go it does not exist
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has thrown its toys out of the pram again, in the form of a gloomy research paper declaring that artificial general intelligence might just be a dead end. That is, of course, after finding itself embarrassingly behind rivals who have functioning first generation AI.
Apple's WWDC faceplant costs it $75 billion
Job’s Mob proves it is not ready for the AI future or even the present
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple managed to wipe $75 billion from its market value during its own keynote circus, proving once again that hype is no substitute for actual product.
Siri stumbles as Apple botches AI race
Apple Intelligence flounders while rivals eat its lunch
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is having a right old mess of it trying to make Siri less of a clueless digital butler and more like an actual AI assistant.
Job’s Mob’s AI ambitions strangled by China deal backlash
Beijing data woes and Alibaba tie-up give Washington conniptions
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple might want to shove Apple Intelligence into every iPhone it sells, but doing that in China could turn into a diplomatic landmine.
Job’s Mob nudged for selling smoke as substance
You can't say something is intelligent when it isn't
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has quietly walked back its “available now” claim about its Apple Intelligence features after the National Advertising Division gave it a sharp nudge for being a bit too enthusiastic with the truth.
Job’s Mob finally tries to do AI like the others
Begins looking at your emails
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is pivoting toward customer data to sharpen its AI, a quiet admission that its current approach is not working.
Job’s Mob keeps switching Apple Intelligence back on
It seems the intelligent thing to do
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has once again decided it knows better than its users. With its latest iOS 18.3.2 update, it’s quietly forcing Apple Intelligence back on—even if Apple fanboys told it to sod off.
Apple's AI shake-up shuffle
Vision Pro chief takes over Siri amid delays and internal strife
Apple is scrambling to salvage its floundering AI initiatives, as CEO Tim Cook has reportedly sidelined John Giannandrea, the company's AI chief, due to the faltering development of its products.
