Apple about to make iPhone more expensive
May dangle bigger storage to keep punters sweet
The dark satanic rumour mill has manufactured a hell on earth yarn claiming that the Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is about to jack up the price of its already overpriced shiny toys later this year.
New Apple chip flaws leak sensitive browser data
FLOP and SLAP attacks make a mockery of Job’s Mob's ‘secure by design’ claims
The fruity cargo cult Apple is having a rough time defending its so-called security-first design philosophy after researchers found two serious vulnerabilities in its custom silicon that can quietly siphon off browser data like credit card details, email contents and location history.
Musk open to merging his AI outfit with Apple
Grok could plug a hole in Apple’s leaky AI strategy
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple might end up jumping into bed with Elon Musk’s artificial intelligence sideshow xAI, after whispers of a strategic tie-up started swirling around tech circles.
Tim Cook insists the iPhone is not dead
Its just resting
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple's supreme dalek Tim Cook has tried to calm jittery investors worried that AI might finally kill off the sacred iPhone cash cow.
Apple faces earnings test as Wall Street eyes cracks in empire
Flat iPhone sales, legal threats to App Store and Google deal unsettle investors
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is about to unveil its latest earnings report, and the cocaine nose jobs of Wall Street are getting twitchy. Despite a stock price that’s multiplied ninefold since 2015, Apple hasn’t sold more iPhones in 2024 than it did a decade ago.
Apple engineers grumble that iPhone fold looks like everything else
Job’s Mob's foldable looks like Samsung clone
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is finally edging toward the foldable market, with its first iPhone Fold pencilled in for 2026 but behind the scenes, engineers are far from thrilled.
Apple may finally launch a "cheap" MacBook for the riff-raff
New A18-powered laptop could undercut the $999 Air
The Fruity Cargo Cult, Apple is toying with the radical idea of building a laptop that doesn’t require you to sell a kidney or sell your children for medical experiments first.
Apple defends its headless chicken AI strategy
Job’s Mob reckons building Siri properly takes decades
After months of mocking silence about Siri’s “smarts” Apple executives have surfaced to defend their wobbly AI rollout and somehow made it sound like all part of the plan.
Jobs Mob’s AI flop swept under carpet as WWDC looms
Tame Apple Press tries to spin ‘nothing to see here’ into AI genius
WWDC 2025 is around the corner, but the only thing the Fruity Cargo Cult Apple seems ready to unleash is a desperate off the books PR campaign to lower expectations while pretending it still knows what it's doing.
Trump threatens Job’s Mob with 25 per cent iPhone tariff
iPhones made outside US could get slapped with a massive tax
President Donald Trump is kicking off another round of his trade war antics, and this time the Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is in the firing line. On 23 May 2025, Trump warned Apple boss Tim Cook that unless iPhones are made in the US, they’ll be hit with a 25 per cent tariff.
