Never reads the papers

While Google and Mozilla have been falling over themselves to stop a data leak to China, Apple has cheerfully ignored the problem.

Battery life too quick, price too high, a chocolate teapot of time pieces

Apple's iWatch has failed to impress reviewers, meaning that it will be only those with their brains switched off who buy one.

Watch 'em wriggle

Australia is the first country to put Google, Apple and Microsoft's "completely legal" tax avoidance under the spotlight.

Do dirty deeds but shut up about it

A former HP boss, and presidential wanna be took time out from attacking Hilary Clinton to have a pop at Apple CEO Tim Cook.

Copying Apple not that much of an option

Samsung executives were told about the importance of designs and user experiences and how a rounded rectangle was not really that cool.

Apple stuck a Farrell in charge of Apple quality... what could possibly go wrong?

The Tame Apple Press is stunned after it was revealed that a Farrell has escaped from Apple custody after he had been put in charge of Apple's quality.

A watch which removes stones from horse's hooves

It appears that everyone is making a watch these days – other than Apple of course, which is yet to release its out-of-date effort.  The latest manufacturer to throw its hat into the ring is the maker of Swiss Army knives.

Could replace lithium-ion batteries

A team of US boffins have emerged from their smoke filled labs claiming that they have a replacement for lithium-ion batteries

Cutting edge? Not likely

Fruity cargo cult Apple has decided that there is no point being cutting edge and expensive when you can peddle old technology and still charge an arm and a leg.

Fails

The Tame Apple Press desperate to prove that the technologically superior Galaxy S6 had the same bending problem as Apple's iPhone 6 might have bitten off more than it could chew.