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NASA claims that the ISS is just the hotel California

by on01 July 2024


Astronauts can check out anytime they like; they can never leave

In a stunning bit of spin, the PR department at NASA insists that astronauts who flew to the international space station in one of its craft are not trapped there.

For those who came in late, two intrepid astronauts embarked on Boeing's Starliner, but they found themselves stranded at the International Space Station due to issues with Boeing’s reusable capsule. However, Boeing insists they are "not stranded."

Astronauts Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams were scheduled to return home on 14 June via the Boeing Starliner. Alas, technical glitches have repeatedly delayed their homeward journey.

The Starliner grappled with docking issues and a series of helium leaks, which kept our spacefarers in suspense.

NASA’s commercial crew program manager Steve Stich said “I want to make it very clear that Butch and Suni are not stranded in space."

Stich said the astronauts could use the capsule if there was an emergency at the space station and they needed to make a quick getaway. Of course, that would mean all those safety issues which are preventing the Boeing capsule from coming back now will all be tested, along with the astronauts underwear.

NASA's personnel are poring over the problems and once they have figured it out a departure date for the pair will be decided. But for now, it's a cosmic guessing game.

Designed to complement Elon Musk's SpaceX, the Starliner aims to shuttle astronauts to and from the space station. Boeing secured a hefty $4.2 billion from NASA to develop this celestial taxi.

This space odyssey marked the Starliner's inaugural crewed trip. However, before liftoff, the craft weathered delays caused by an array of technical gremlins who had been fed after midnight.

Beyond the stratosphere, Boeing grapples with aeroplane woes, including doors blown out mid-flight, bits falling off its planes, and a mysterious whistleblower's demise. Critics point to broader quality control issues within the company.

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