Originally slated to dazzle the world+dog in 2025, the debut has now been fashionably delayed to 2030, with operations possibly commencing in 2031. This marks a mere five- to six-year delay which is just a blink of an eye in geological terms.

The plant was expected to churn out Intel's advanced 18A process node technology. This 18-angstrom (1.8 nanometers) process is part of Intel's strategy to regain leadership in semiconductor manufacturing by offering cutting-edge technology to both internal products and external foundry customers.

Intel's spokesperson for moving goalposts, Naga Chandrasekaran said the rescheduling is a strategic masterstroke to "align factory operations with market demand" and to "manage our capital responsibly."

According to our translation software, that means that it is waiting for the stars (and Intel’s finances) to align.

Ohio officials, who have poured cash into the project, remain unfazed. Governor Mike DeWine's spokesperson labelled the delay a "disappointment" but expressed unwavering faith in Intel's commitment.

Similarly, JobsOhio, the state's cheerleader-in-chief, is confident that Intel's vision will eventually materialise, even if it's on a timeline that rivals the construction of medieval cathedrals.

Meanwhile, the local workforce is advised to stay in a holding pattern, perhaps considering careers in time capsule creation, as they await the day when Intel's factory doors finally swing open.